Just in case you missed any. I know I added a bunch at once. There's an order, hopefully you'll figure it out. Hint: 1, then 2, then 3, and so on...

Stage 1

Stage 3

Stage 2 - Elation

I was still in a pretty good mood, thinking that this breakup just might not be so bad. Things seemed fine, they weren't great, but that's to be expected, right?

I was also in a good mood about a moment I shared with someone. A very cool, very wonderful moment. With a married woman. Nothing illicit happened, trust me, but I was still thrown for quite a loop.

Elation knew this, of course, and tippy-toed into the house, kissed me gently on the cheek, and began his subversive acts. He went straight to the Heart, without checking with the Head or the Gut. Elation is smart, and knows that he can't really mess with those other guys, but he knows he can play the Heart like a fiddle.

. . .

How's it goin'?

"Not bad, not bad. Much better than I expected, given this whole breaking up thing."

Yeah, you're actually doing really well. Awesome even.

"Awesome? What the hell are you talking about? I feel like ass."

You're doing awesome because you're in love.

"I am? Seriously? You fuckin' with me?"

Seriously, not fuckin' with you. I talked to Heart, and he agrees.

"Well, if I'm so awesome, if I'm so in love, why the hell did we just break up?"

Oh, you're not in love with her. You're in love with someone else.

"Wha� Who? WHO?"

Oh, I think you know�

"I� Nah� No. NO."

Oh, yes.

"MarriedGirl."

Yep.

"See, the thing is, I call her 'MarriedGirl' because SHE'S FUCKING MARRIED."

Yeah, we know all of this, but Heart told me that you love her and he wants you to give him to her.

"She's happily married, this isn't going to happen. You fucking morons can't just go traipsing around falling me in love. It's ridiculous."

What's so ridiculous? Love happens every day. Even to people already married.

"Are you just flailing because life is fucked up right now? Or did you give any of this any serious thought?"

You mean like, you throw yourselves into each other's arms (cue the string music) and fall as one to the sandy bea�

"NO, asswad, I mean I throw my heart at her and at best, fuck her life up for a short time and mine for who knows how long, and at worst, she leaves him for me and becomes a ruined woman who was torn from her soulmate, I become a guilt-ridden home-wrecking bum, and her husband is destroyed emotionally, and hunts me down to cut off the protruding parts of my body. Super."

Fine, obviously you and Cynicism have a long-standing relationship.

"Yeah, what can I say, he got to me early."

Well, it doesn't make you any less in love though, does it?

"Shut up."

It could still work oooo-uuuuu-tttt

"I'll humour you, moron. How?"

Maybe she leaves him because she realizes that you're the man that she's meant to be with and he's not.

"And what's going to make her realize this? She already married the guy, she must be pretty damn sure about something. You're talking out your ass, admit it."

Maybe she� maybe�

"Waiting."

Maybe she finds out that he secretly molests Pit Bulls, and has been doing it for years. She'd leave him for you then, and Yay, we'd all be happy!

"Pit Bul� Are you listening to the shit spewing forth from your mouth?"

Whatever, you can't deny that you're feeling Love, and it makes you feel good.

"I can't deny that you're an imbecile."

Love.

"Moron."

Love.

"Idiot."

Luuuuhhhhh-hhuuuuuvvvv

"SHUTTHEFUCKUP."

(long pause) love.

---

Elation was cool, for a while, and got me over some rough spots, I guess, but I think the whole situation could've been a whole lot better served had I not had him bouncing around the joint, tugging at Heart and fucking with everything.

It's one thing for the birds to be singing and the flowers blooming all the fucking time, but I would end up paying for this, I just didn't know it yet.