Just in case you missed any. I know I added a bunch at once. There's an order, hopefully you'll figure it out. Hint: 1, then 2, then 3, and so on...

Stage 1

Stage 2

Stage 3

Stage 4

Stage 5

Stage 6

Stage 8

Stage 7 - Chastity

Chastity probably wouldn't have bopped in had Longing not been so goddam loud while he was here and, like a lot of my visitors, I didn't expect it.

I had just got done helping the Girl move into her new apartment. She's got a nice place, and I'm happy for her. I helped her put together her bed, and then lay on it while she unpacked a bunch of her stuff, with Longing apparently directing my eyes every time she bent over. She playfully busted me numerous times, and I think that may have either driven Longing away, or brought Chastity out, I'm not sure.

We were driven to a SuperStore so that she could pick up some stuff she needed for the apartment and she informed me that she had a date the following night.

Strangely, this news didn't bother me like I may have predicted it would, and I told her, as sincerely as I am capable of, that I wish nothing but the best for her and, if I couldn't be the man to bring her happiness, I sincerely hope that she finds the one who can. She went a little quiet, and that's when Chastity piped in, and reflected some of his words into my speech.

. . .

Man, you're done dating. You can never do that kind of shit again.

"We were talking about HER dating, not me."

Yeah, but you know it'll never happen again. You've been through that wringer.

"Yeah, I guess it wasn't really any fun, was it?"

FUN?!? Ha! Even when it wasn't a total disaster, it ended up being a total disaster because nothing ever came of it. Dating is a waste of time, man.

"Yeah. I guess, every time I've ever been in love hasn't been with someone I've ever dated, in the traditional sense of the word."

Well, two of those times were the Girl, so that doesn't quite count does it? Why would you even try again?

"I know. Shit, I would never even consider investing myself emotionally in something that I didn't think could be a step better than what I had with the Girl."

See, that's why it's fruitless, dude. What you had with the Girl was about the best you're probably ever gonna get, and you ain't gonna come even close by simply 'dating.'

"You're probably right, but that doesn't mean I'll never meet somebody, outside of the dating realm. Lightning may strike at the SuperMarket, for chrissakes, you never know."

HA! Your last lightning strike landed you in love with MarriedGirl! How's that one feel now? Ho. Lightning� you're fuckin' killin' me.

"Maybe something else'll happen along. Maybe Fate has something else in store for me."

Not happenin' chief, and I'll tell you why. You're damaged goods, buddy. You. Are. Un. Lovable.

"No I'm not. I've got a lot going for me, I cook, I can sew, I look good in a kilt, I'm not unlovable!"

Heh. You think anybody's gonna stick around when they realize that you can't give our buddy, Heart, away anymore? You think any chick that's worth the time is gonna put up with that?

"Heh. I've got a big cock, that should keep 'em around for awhile at least."

Please. Try to contain yourself, you nimrod. Do you really see yourself naked with anyone you aren't in love with? Ever again? Huh?

"Um� Do all the guys on the hockey team count? We do shower together every week."

HAHA, hahahahahaaaaa� Ho! They may as well count, slugger, because that's about as close as you're going to get to nudity and a good time.

"So� what? I should just shave my head and start chanting 5 times a day? Gimme a fuckin' break."

Shit man, you may as well, because it ain't happenin' either way.

"Jesus, you're right. I guess I'll spend the coming years working on my art and my writing, and I'll unwind by fly-fishing as much as I can."

Yeah, right. Oh, and when Longing and/or Horny comes by when you're 'fly-fishing' make sure that you've got plenty of lotion on hand. And a Playboy.

---

As much as my other visitors may be relatively unyielding, Chastity is really the only one that tells me that a certain part of my life is now cut off forever. He seems to know so many things with such certainty, it's hard as hell to agrue with him. Oh, I know 'forever' is a long word, but Chastity doesn't, and that knowledge doesn't make him any easier to deal with. Especially when he uses terms like, "internet p0rn" and� well� "internet p0rn."

The times to come, with Chastity around, aren't going to be fun, but at least I'll have� well� you know.