I am a code geek. No problem. I get paid to be. I have a serious problem with other people who are paid to be as well, and suck serious gorilla balls at it.

I just spent 3 fucking hours cleaning up someone else's code simply because they are a drooling, stammering imbecile. That's the only reason I can come up with for why they would create such a urine-soaked mass of rotting shit. It may as well have been written in fucking crayon on the back of a Denny�s menu.

I'll explain for the non-code geeks in terms of simple English.

Say I were to write a few simple sentences in English, the proper way:

1) I am hungry.

2) I'd like to paint the left wall of my office in your blood.

3) Your breasts are firm and full, yet I still hate you.

4) You smell just like an elephant's ass.

Now, I'll show you the way the imbecile would write these simple sentences:

1) Hungry. Hungry. Hungry is what I am. Achingly hungry. Belly is empty.

2) I don't want to take out a brush, dip it into the gaping wound in your lifeless corpse, and drag it, bristles first, up and down the right side of the wall of the room I work in, but I do want to take a knife, rip a hole in my abdomen and flail my bleeding body at my walls. Whee!

3) Chopper, sick balls!

4) I have new socks on. They are black. My shirt is black. I have a smear of deodorant on my shirt from when I put it on. My deodorant ran out around 3 o'clock. I must not smell very good.

This shit is all over the fucking place. I've got so much redundancy going on that I want to commit suicide with an electric juicer and then take an electric juice machine and kill myself.

That and half the shit just doesn't fucking work. To call it "redundant" is misusing the word, as half of it just isn't needed.

Had a mean-ass-bastard-sumbitch of a ranch boss that used to yell at me, �Boy, you�re useless as tits on a boar.� I may or may not yell this into the next cube by the end of today.